MftS: Whispers

Here’s this week’s entry into Monday’s Finish the Story flash fiction challenge, run by Barbara W. Beacham. This challenge gives you a picture prompt and the first line and asks that you finish the story in 100-150 words. The given line is in italics. This week’s opening line was provided by Eric Wickland of Momusnews.



At first, it looked like an ordinary marble, but it was far from it.

Unfortunately, Allie didn’t realise that until much too late.

But then, it was always too late. She was captivated from the second she saw it glinting in the dirt. No awareness of its danger could have stopped her slipping it into her pocket.

That night the voices began to whisper. They were quiet at first, masquerading as stray wisps of thought but steadily they grew louder, wearing at her mind until their malicious opinions drowned her own.

Her life shattered into fragments, stained with blood and fear.

It wasn’t until three days later, as Allie numbly emptied her pockets onto the custody sergeant’s desk, that she made the connection. The marble glinted unnaturally, light shifting into leering faces. The voices were finally silenced as she was led away to the cells.

She tried to warn them.

No one would listen to the ravings of a madwoman who’d murdered her family.

Word Count: 150


To read other entries or to submit your own, click the little blue frog.


42 Comments on “MftS: Whispers

    • I’d planned to write a happy little story about children having an adventure with a magic marble. Then I sat down and started to write…

      Liked by 3 people

  1. I read this three times and each time, it made my heart even harder and the hair on the back of my neck stand up more. It’s such a chilling and exciting tale!

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is! I’ve got quite dark in my fantasy a few times but never quite so close to horror! Thanks for visiting. 🙂


  2. Its a bit scary. And again maybe its just the imagination of the madwoman. Liked it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oooo! I was not expecting that ending. Nicely done! Thank you for writing again for the MFtS challenge, and be well… ^..^

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! I had lots of ideas for this prompt. I’m not exactly sure where this one came from… I’m glad you enjoyed it. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • It is funny the way the words sometimes pour out of our minds, through our fingers, onto the keyboard and into a document. I love story telling! 🙂


  4. Wow, I wonder if she was mad before she found the marble or if the marble made her mad! Quite chilling ending! Excellent story and writing Louise!


  5. Ooh! Francesca ~ You are talented~ This is a brilliant piece of work! Worthy of Edgar Allen Poe or a Hitchcock twist ~ Well written 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Letting the dark side out once and a while is a good thing. Sometimes prompts do take on lives of their own. I know I’ve started one sort of story, but it turns into something much darker and deadly than I supposed.
    If you write in this genre from time to time, you might be interested where that path may take you.
    Thoroughly enjoyed.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I may well write in this genre again, some time. I found it strangely enjoyable. 🙂 I’m glad you liked it.


  7. Mental note #1: Do follow this blog! Mental note #2: Do not read this blog just before going to bed!

    Great story Louise! Really enjoyed it.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. It is great when our writing takes a different turn on a plan, almost as though it has a mind of its own…Much like what happened to this poor girl…
    Very dark indeed and well written!


  9. She never stood a chance, did she? I wonder how many other atrocities this “marble” has been responsible for, and where it will end up next? Great story, as usual 🙂


  10. I understand that they have cookies on the dark side…
    Please let me know if they are chocolate chip…
    They won’t be as good as this story though. Well done!


  11. Well done, Louise. That was a good horror twist at the end. A differenet genre than your usual, but very effective. 🙂 — Suzanne


  12. From a writer who often visits the dark side in my writing, I liked it. Well done and I glad to find another challenge I can follow or participate in myself. Thank you for stopping by the Cow Pasture and I’m thrilled you liked it enough to jump the fence. Welcome.

    Liked by 1 person

Bealtaine Cottage, Ireland

Colette O'Neill... Environmentalist, Author, Publisher, Photographer. Creator of Goddess Permaculture.

The day's work

Creating a Meaningful Life

anima monday

Exploring our connection to the wider world

Carrot Ranch Literary Community

Wrangling literary arts for writers: words for people!


watching the world of brain research

%d bloggers like this: