Picture it & Write: The Crossing – Part Two

Due to multiple requests from readers and a plot bunny that decided to not leave me alone, here is a second part for this week’s Picture it and Write challenge using the photo prompt below. If you haven’t read part one or would like to remind yourself what happened, you can go here. I hope you like it!

Picture it & Write photo prompt

The Crossing: Part Two
Genre: historical

The rocks were slick and dangerous, the water swirling in tumultuous eddies that tugged insistently at Dair’s feet as he struggled to cross. He knew the route, had used it dozens of times before, but never with the river this swollen. Soon he was practically crawling, clinging with fingers growing increasingly numb in the icy rush.

He was over halfway when he fell.

He grabbed at the sharp-edged rocks with desperate hands as his feet were swept from beneath him, scrabbling frantically to regain his footing. He couldn’t hold on for long. The current carried him in a twisting surge downstream. He fought to keep his head above water, to swim towards the bank, to avoid obstacles, but the chill leeched away his strength, dulling his reactions as he was buffeted and swamped.

Escape looked unlikely. He would die in the river as Father and Alhan had died on the road. Mother, awaiting their return, would never know what happened.

He’d given up hope of survival when the tangle or roots caught him in their trailing embrace. It took several minutes for him to realise his good fortune; several more to gather the strength to pull himself onto the river bank, shivering and unsteady.

He’d done it – he’d made it across! He could barely believe it. He was now only a few miles from home.

Exhausted and battered, sodden to his skin in the bitterest of winter temperatures, home could still have been as distant as the moon.

Word Count: 249


You’ll be pleased to know that there is a part three of this story that’s already more than half written. I’d like to say I’ll have the next bit up tomorrow but I have to work, so we’ll see. 🙂

16 thoughts on “Picture it & Write: The Crossing – Part Two

  1. Very good! I was hoping that you would keep him alive, but I cannot imagine how horrible it will be for his mother when she discovers what happened…
    Looking forward to reading the 3rd!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. And so it begins, a living story. Looking forward to reading part III. Great descriptions, I could feel myself feeling like I was rushing down a river…I can see why this story won’t let you go, too much still to tell 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well, after that last paragraph there has to be a part three. Get writing 🙂
    I was half-worried the water was going to carry him back in the direction of the people he’s running from, but leaving him so close to home and in such dire straits was a much better ending.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Part three is half written but still needs working on. It should be up in a day or so. Unfortunately my weekends are full of kid’s birthday parties so I don’t have much time (or energy) to do anything else!
      I’m glad you like the ending. I was very tempted for him to wash up on the wrong side of the river, with the outlaw camp not far away – I decided to not be quite so evil to him. 🙂


    1. Thanks. I don’t think it’ll be up today, unfortunately. It needs a bit more work on it before I’m happy for other people to read it. I’m a bit of a perfectionist! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I all in with everyone else: Part 3 is a must. So glad to hear it’s on the way.
        Striving for perfection is good. Nice save for Dair. How did you name him? Is it a “take” off “dare?” Does it have a meaning? You have created an irrestible storyline.
        Does he make it home to his mom? or not? What would happen to her if he doesn’t?
        Is there a time & space where this adventure takes place?

        Ah, drat?! I guess I’m getting carried away.

        Excellent follow up, nice done, I’m like an out-of-body presence hovering over him and he struggles to survive..I’m tired….Whew!


  4. Excellent, another cliffhanger. I’m glad you’re working on part 3. But you know what? This actually works as a standalone, too. Great job 🙂


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