Monday’s Finish the Story: The Shootout

Here’s this week’s entry into Monday’s Finish the Story flash fiction challenge, run by Barbara W. Beecham. This challenge gives you a picture prompt and the first line and asks that you finish the story in 100-150 words. The given line is in italics.


Diamond Jack had his hideout next to the Rattle Snake River.

 It remained secret for a long time but Jack had known it couldn’t last. Finally, they’d tracked him down.

‘Just give us the diamonds,’ Sam called, ‘and we’ll leave.’


‘Then we’ll have to take them!’

Bullets flew, tearing holes in the flimsy walls. Eventually, Jack was struck. He fell, blood streaming.

‘The diamonds are ours,’ Cowgirl Kate crowed.

‘Not if you can’t find them,’ Jack gasped his final words and died.

The pair rummaged through the hideout, emptying boxes and drawers until the floor was strewn with items.

‘What on Earth?’

The two figures froze, looking guiltily at the newcomer.

‘They’re trying to find the diamonds, Mum.’

‘Shut up, Jack. You’re supposed to be dead.’

They were fixed with a steely glare. ‘You have fifteen minutes. I want this room spotless before dinner.’

After Mum left Katie asked her brothers, ‘After dinner, can I be an Indian Princess instead?’


Word Count: 150



If you want to read any other entries, or add your own, go here.

25 Comments on “Monday’s Finish the Story: The Shootout

  1. Aww, kids at play. Nice twist! There’s no point cleaning the room up, they’ll only make a mess of it again after dinner 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This is a very familiar tale ~ I love your response to the prompt ~ Clean up or else 😉 Not a rattler in sight 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I originally had Katie threatening her brother with a rattlesnake toy. Unfortunately it had to be cut to fit the word limit. Thanks for visiting. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. I’m glad you like it. 🙂 This week I was determined to write a lighthearted piece!


  3. An excellent story! I thoroughly enjoyed this! Thank you for participating again, and I hope that you stay tuned for next week’s challenge! Be well… ^..^

    Liked by 1 person

    • That they can! Sometimes mums just don’t understand the importance of a good game. I’m very glad you liked it. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You fooled me. It was at this point The two figures froze, looking guiltily at the newcomer. that I knew something was up… Good one!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! I always worry that I’m giving it away somehow. I had to be quite careful with their speech and actions. 🙂


  5. Mothers do have the last word.. It was good. Initially, i didnt understand that its just children. but reading again, made it interesting.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad you liked it. I didn’t want it to be obvious that it was just children playing and was quite careful not to give it away too early! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

Bealtaine Cottage, Ireland

Colette O'Neill... Environmentalist, Author, Publisher, Photographer. Creator of Goddess Permaculture.

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