MFtS: The Pizza Delivery

Here’s this week’s entry into Monday’s Finish the Story flash fiction challenge, run by Barbara W. Beacham. This challenge gives you a picture prompt and the first line and asks that you finish the story in 100-150 words. The given line is in italics.

Photo Prompt – copyright Barbara Beacham

The Pizza Delivery

“Pizza anyone?”

Lily scowled as a grinning Bristol climbed into the driver’s seat. His ruse had been her undoing.

Her guard had lowered after months of safety but seeing his face instead of the pizza delivery boy’s had reignited her instincts. She’d slammed the door and thrown the locks. She’d known this day would arrive. Her bag was packed beside the fire escape and she slung it on as she fled.

Avery awaited her at ground level.

She fought, kicking and struggling until a blow sent her reeling. By the time her senses settled she’d been bundled into the car, plastic bindings digging into her wrists.

“I hear your dear sister found a rich husband.” Avery sat close beside her. “How much will she pay for your return, hmm?”

“Ransom?” she scoffed. “The brigadier won’t let her pay anything. You’re wasting your time!”

“I disagree.”

Taking her phone, he dialed Connie’s number.

Word Count: 150

The story is set a little while before the scene in Blameless that I wrote a couple of weeks ago. I said then that I’d write more of that story when I found a prompt that would work with my ideas. Well here you go! I’ve never really written any modern thriller type pieces before – the usual genres that inspire me are fantasy and historical – so I’m quite surprised that this story has captured my attention as much as it has. I have lots more ideas for future weeks. I hope you like it.


To read other entries or to submit your own, click the little blue frog.


41 thoughts on “MFtS: The Pizza Delivery

  1. Very well done! I enjoyed the way you wove this tale! Thank you for participating again and I hope that you return next week… Be well… ^..^


  2. Very well penned… The ending is intriguing even when at first sight we tend to think that things will just turn out in a certain way! … All my best wishes. Aquileana 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m a little confused. Is it Lilly or Bristol that was eloping? Did the one that eloped actually get kidnapped? I got lost after the 2nd paragraph.


    1. Nobody eloped. I’m not sure where you got that idea from. Maybe you need to read the story again. It was a kidnapping, plain and simple. Bristol appeared at her door and she fled down the fire escape only to be grabbed by Avery at the bottom. Lily’s sister is Connie from the story, Blameless, of 2 weeks ago. She’s married to the wealthy brigadier and Avery wants her to pay a ransom for Lily. Lily and her sister have a history with the kidnappers, which will become more obvious in any future sections I might write.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Tense and very well written!
    It is clever how you wove this prompt into the Brigadier one a few weeks back.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Francesca. I knew I wanted to write more to that story. I still have lots of other ideas as well so expect to see some of these characters appear again in future stories. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I’m glad you like it. This is another story that keeps on growing. I have lots of ideas for future week’s – depending on the prompts, of course. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. There’s always someone waiting at the bottom of the fire escape after the quarry is flushed out 😦 We need to find out what happens next – will the brigadier let Connie pay the ransom, or will Lily escape?
    Exciting stuff!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. The suspense of the attempted escape into the arms of the kidnappers was brilliant ~ Will the Brigadier pay or hunt them down? ~ Nice work Louise ~ 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. 🙂 I’ve enjoyed writing these, despite them being out of my comfort zone. I never thought I’d write a thriller! I’m glad you enjoyed them.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Well done! My first thought is that the Colonel will say “No!” out of spite….or at least he will “him ‘n haw.” This seems a little edgy for you….but I like it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! I never thought I’d write a thriller – its not my usual type of story at all. That’s one of the things I like about writing flash fiction, though. You can push yourself down avenues you wouldn’t usually even think of trying.


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