Susceptible
Willow spotted the pair long before they reached her. The man was perfect, open minded and curious. The woman was more… problematic. She exuded confidence, carrying a fixed world-view that prevented any tampering to her thoughts.
But the man was too good to ignore.
“Come,” she whispered into his mind. “This way.”
He stopped, his vacant gaze turning towards the doorway where Willow glowed enticingly. The woman continued on, unaware of her companion’s distraction.
“Follow me.”
The woman’s frantic voice drifted from below as Willow led him steadily higher, but it was distant, unable to infringe on the enthrallment entwining his thoughts. Soon they’d reach the portal. Soon she’d be able to return home.
“Come closer.” She ignored the approaching footfalls. “Quickly.”
“James!” The woman pounded into sight. Cursing, she dragged him away from the banister onto which he’d climbed. “What the hell are you doing?”
Willow’s hopes disintegrated along with her hold on the man’s mind.
“I… I don’t know,” he said.
The shaken pair retreated. The portal continued to drift in mid-air, demanding blood.
Word Count: 175
To read the other entries, click the little blue frog.
This post is for Priceless Joy’s Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers Challenge. This week’s prompt was provided by Joy Pixley. Thank you, Joy
An Enchanted Place 
Scary…Perfect.
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Thank you. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂
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Wow! Fantastic! Now I know why the man was perfect and the woman was more problematic. She almost got him and would have if it weren’t for the woman. Fantastic story!
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Thanks, PJ. Maybe next time there won’t be a problematic woman to stop her… 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed the story.
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That is possible! But I like this story that the bad woman failed!
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Wonderful. Thanks to the ‘problematic’ woman!
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There should be at least one ‘problematic’ person in every group! Thanks for visiting, Maniparna. 🙂
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Absolutely!
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Chilling and mysterious. Wonderful story!
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Thank, Jessie. 🙂 I’m glad you liked it.
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Excellent, great take on the prompt. Wouldn’t want to be the next ‘perfect’ person to walk past on their own….
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Thank you, Iain. I’m very glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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Nasty things, these blood-sacrifice portals. I’m sure Willow won’t have to wait too long, though. Great story!
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So Eerie… truly caught my attention, till the ending lines which stand out … intrigue continues
Also, I truly liked the metaphors in this line:
“Willow’s hopes disintegrated along with her hold on the man’s mind”.
Sending love & best wishes, dear Louise. Aquileana 😀
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Scary ending, this portal wanting blood. Nice write Louise!
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Awesomely magical story!
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this gave me goosies, Louise! wow!
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Thank heavens for her closed mind, your story reminds me or a young lad who was high on drugs and tried to jump off a third floor stair case. Thankfully like your male character he was stopped just in time.
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