Captivated

Posted on by Louise Bunting

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Captivated

Raedan’s hands clenched around the gift box as he listened to the announcement. Lady Seleste had chosen her suitor.

And it wasn’t him.

Everyone else faded into insignificance as she glided across the hall. With each tilt of her head, each flash of a smile, she set his senses reeling. She’d captivated him from the first. Now he had one final chance…

“A gift, my lady.” He knelt as she passed.

He didn’t see her companion until a masculine hand intercepted the box and flipped it open. His protest died in his throat as he looked into a familiar face. He wanted to flee – knew he should flee – but his body refused to obey.

“So this is the man who thinks to own me?” Seleste’s disgust burned.

“Indeed.” The treacherous wizard at her side lifted the gem he’d enchanted for Raedan free. “This stone was intended to control you.” He pinned the delicate confection into her hair. “Instead it will control him. My wedding gift to you, my love.”

Unable to do otherwise, Raedan followed in their wake.

Word Count: 175

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This post is for Priceless Joy’s Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers. This week’s photo prompt was provided by Jade M. Wong. Thank you Jade!

27 thoughts on “Captivated”

  1. Wow. I don’t know if I should feel sorry for Raedon or not considering he did try to control her. I wAsnt expecting that twist and I was pleasantly surprised. 🙂

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    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it, Ameena. I wouldn’t feel too sorry for Raedan – he deserves a taste of his own medicine. That Lady Seleste trusts the wizard is rather more alarming… 😀 Thanks for visiting!

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  3. The way I see it is the wizard told Lady Seleste that Raeden was trying to control her and she believed him which is why she chose the wizard and not Raeden. How sad! Lady Seleste is going to have a long life of misery (in my opinion). Great story, Louise! I loved it!

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    1. You could be right. On other hand, the wizard could have been telling the truth… Whichever might be true, that the wizard knows how to cast enchantments that control people should be cause for concern. I can’t see Lady Celeste having a particularly happy life, either. I’m glad you enjoyed it, PJ. 🙂

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  4. Oh wow! What a story! I love that you packed so much detail and plot into so few words. And I love how it’s not clear if Raedan is the bad guy or the wizard. Because it could really go either way. Fantastic writing 🙂

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    1. Thank you very much, Jade. 🙂 Even if Raedan was planning to control her, I’m not sure I’d trust the wizard who placed the enchantment on the gem! I’m glad you enjoyed the story – it wasn’t easy to fit it into 175 words!

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      1. I wouldn’t trust him either! And I understand lol 175 words really isn’t a lot when you start writing. Great job 🙂

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    1. Thanks, Sabina. 🙂 I’m glad you liked it. I did think about writing a sweet love story… I’m not sure I’m capable of those because this twisted little piece is what I ended up with!

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  7. another gem Louise! i wonder who is really telling the truth or being upfront, seems these 3 characters are trapped in their own devious schemes and want to outdo or out smart the other and only one can be the winner. wonder who that will be in the end, me i would always root for the under dog. amazing what you have come up from that tiny pink bauble.

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  8. Looks like Raedan’s getting what he deserves, but I don’t hold out much hope for Lady Seleste either with that wizard in the picture. He seems the “controlling” sort!

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  11. It seems like a dangerous place to live, I liked the twist in your story.

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  12. Hmmm…very interesting. I feel bad for Raedon because I think he was madly in love with this princess or thought he was. On the other hand, he didn’t really love her much if he didn’t want the real her, and wanted to control her every move. I don’t think the evil wizard is much better, but Raedon gets his just desserts. But it’s also unfortunate because in the end, I think he does love the princess and realizes he went about getting her attention the wrong way. But it’s kind of one of those things . . . “You’ve made your bed, so now you lie In it.”

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    1. Thank you for the insightful comment, Mandi. You never know, maybe somewhere down the line (once Raedon has learnt his lesson) Lady Seleste will realise the sort on man she’s engaged to, and also realise the true worth of her new slave…

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    1. Thank you, Cybele. 🙂 This was going to be a simple love story to start with, but it seems I’m not suited to simple love stories! I just couldn’t resist adding a darker twist. I’m very glad you enjoyed it. 🙂

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