Heli-copper – Finish the Story

Posted on by Louise Bunting

I’ve decided to have a go at some flash fiction so, to start me off, I’m joining in with Mondays Finish the Story. For this you’re given a photograph and the opening line and the challenge is to complete the story within 100-150 words. I hope you all like my offering.

black hawk

Silently as the people watched, the black hawk helicopter lifted into the air.

‘Awesome!’ Freddy finally broke the silence. ‘Someday I’m gonna fly a heli-copper! I’ll be the best heli-copper driver, ever.’ Pulling away from his sister’s hand he ran amidst the settling dust, spinning his arms above his head. ‘Whup, whup, whup.’

‘It’s a helicopter,’ Valerie pointed out. ‘And you pilot it, not drive.’ She wasn’t really paying him attention – she kept looking at some older boys – so Freddy ignored her until she said, ‘You look really silly.’

‘Not as silly as you, silly-head.’ Freddy stuck his tongue out as she caught his hand and turned towards home. ‘But it was cool, weren’t it, Vally? That noise – whup, whup, whup – and they’d found the Tilsons who were lost. So awesome!’ Valerie rolled her eyes but Freddy knew she’d enjoyed watching the search and rescue team as much as he had.

Yep – someday he’d be the best helicopter driver, ever.

18 thoughts on “Heli-copper – Finish the Story”

  1. Loved it! I could see in my mind the two interacting! Well done, and thank you for joining in! Stay tuned for next week’s challenge! It should be exciting! ^..^

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love your lighthearted take on a black hawk! I live in a Navy/Air Force area and my thoughts would have gone completely a different way. Can’t wait until next week for your next offering!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like to follow the advice ‘write about what you know’ whenever possible. I know nothing about the military (especially American military!) but I do know about kids playing. Thank you for the lovely comment. 🙂

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  4. And that’s how dreams are made! I loved the dialogue between the children, Freddy in his little-kid world and Valerie, just starting to notice boys 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You did a great job with this prompt! The dialog, as someone else mentioned, is very well handled, and paints an immediate picture of the siblings, without obvious effort; you’ve a wonderfully light brush-stroke. Your post tells a story about the children and their hopes/ dreams/ relationship within the confines of the larger, unrelated helicopter rescue, better I think, than if you’d not had that rather threatening image of a black hawk. Beautiful contrast.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. 🙂 I had great fun writing it so I’m really glad other people like it as well. The hardest part was keeping it within the word limit! The first draft was over 250 words. I spent quite some time cutting it down to size. 😀

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